


A Lonely Life

by BellaLadyWolf



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e02 The Sign of Three, F/M, M/M, Sherlock's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 19:57:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1562156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellaLadyWolf/pseuds/BellaLadyWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's thoughts about what will happen now that John is married and he has to go back to his life before he met him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lonely Life

You recall all these adventures you came through together. Before you met him, you thought you were better on your own. But when he came into your life..you didn't even notice how quickly you got used to his presence. And now you're supposed to be getting used to his absence. He says that nothing's gonna change and you want to believe him, but you know it's not true. Everything's gonna change. You try to convince yourself that it's alright. You just have to go back to the way you were before. To the life before John. But you can't escape it. You miss him already. You're affraid. Scared of the loneliness. He joined into your life so naturally that you can't imagine him not being there. You almost forgot how to function without him. He changed you. You can't deny it. Changed you in many ways. He can't just leave you! You belong to each other, you and him. You were supposed to be together forever. Obviously. But it's your fault, you left him first. For a moment you almost choke. You had no choice! But he won't ever forgive you leaving him. Oh no, he forgave you, it's even worse. He went on. You couldn't imagine life without him and he got a life while you were gone. You wouldn't imagine he would do something like that, because you wouldn't. You couldn't just forget him and get on with your life. You wouldn't believe he's dead. That there's no way he could come back. But he's just an ordinary man, Sherlock. Just a man. You would be fooling yourself to think that he's something more than anyone else. You love him. You want the best for him. You want to keep him safe. It was the reason you left him in a first place. And that's also why you have to let him go now. You can't stand in way of his happiness. You don't want to. Even when it means you're unhappy. You have no right to complain. And maybe he'll really visit. From time to time. When he's bored with his domestic life. When he misses the adrenalin. But it still won't be the same. Not at all. You'll be just ordinary friends. More like aquitances, really. You won't be together anyomre. Just the two of you. In one household, sharing almost every minute of your lives. All that intimacy of it will be gone. All the little things you seacretly enjoyed. Like meeting him in the morning over the cup of coffee all grumpy and ruffled. Sitting in the armchairs facing each other and reading newspaper. All his complaining about the things you do, that you hear, but choose to ignore, because you love his grumbling. It'll be all gone. It's her who is the most important person in her life now. And always will be. You'll come next from now on. For you, he's still the first. The only. And it hurts. It hurts you in so many ways, you didn't even know up to this day it could. Sentiment. You too are just a human after all.. You look around the hall and you realize how much you feel alone. You never really admitted it to yourself before. You go out, turning the collar of your coat to up, most likely to shelter yourself from the world. And go - where? You can't bring yourself to go back to that empty flat. Not just now. You set of for nowhere. You just want get lost in streets. Run away.

_Who leaves a wedding early?_


End file.
